I wanna feel alive again;
So put that smile back on my face;
&& mix it strong my friend~
[Brompton Cocktail - Avenged Sevenfold]
It's so ridiculous...
Now, what could be ridiculous to a teenage girl?
Maybe the fact that it's been about 4 days since I've seen my boyfriend, who I'm almost obsessively clingy to.
Maybe it's the fact that I've gone days without good music...
Maybe it's the fact that I'm having a conversation I really don't want to be having...
I'm not sure. But it's either one of those three, a mix of two, or all of them.
For starters, I haven't seen my boyfriend in what feels to me like a long time. I know, I know, I'm just a silly teenager and I think I'm totally gonna be with this teenage boy forever, yadda yadda. Now, I don't think I'm in love or anything, and I don't think we'll be together and all happy forever, but that can't stop me from clinging onto him for dear life. ;A;
But here's the deal. I went out with this one guy... Let's abbreviate his name to just L, for privacy's sake. Now, this goes back to around September, 2008. So yeah. In September, I liked a guy... Let's call him R. (Deargawd it's alphabet romance- L, R, and I. ~Shotforpun~) Anyways, I liked R, who was my age almost exactly. And L is about 2.5 years older than me. Now, L has a best friend, my current boyfriend. And I met L and my boyfriend (at that time not my boyfriend, obviously) in that September.
Now, here's the kicker. I hated my now-boyfriend at that time. He has this reputation as a manwhore, and so I wasn't buying. Now, I was still hopelessly in... some emotion... for R. But L and I started talking, became friends...
And then on October 30th, L told me he was infatuated with me. It made me panic inside. I mean, I was just wondering what the hell was on his mind. About a week later, we went out. That was when my now-boyfriend stopped talking to me. And I hated him. x) And so my relationship with L lasted about 4 months.
There's your summary.
So L broke up with me this one day, whatever.
About a week later, my now-boyfriend got his hands on my number to ask my brother (who is his friend) something. After we sorted out the stuff with my brother, he and I started texting. It was casual, and I didn't feel like anything would come out of it.
Obviously it did. x)
Eventually some drama happened after me and this guy got together. Something about his best friend and L (his other best friend).
So they stopped talking for a long time and just... Thursday night or so, they started talking again. Of course, it was a shaky reltionshippy thing between them.
Friday I IMed L, since we're still aquaintances, and we had a conversation, but my boyfriend got bothered by it, and we had this whole ordeal. But now it's solved. :D
The real problem is that today, Leo IMed me. Now, I felt kind of skeptical about talking to him, what with my boyfriend being kinda bleh about it.
I told him I was installing something, which I was, and so I said I had to close MSN Messenger to prevent it from freezing.
I started playing the game I was installing, and I ended up going hours without IMing back. After those few hours this is the IM I got (His IM name is abbreviated for confidentiality):
-L- says:
still downloading?
So yeah... The conversation continued with the following:
~Loreo~ says:
Oh crud. =o I forgot about MSN. xD Sorry.
-L- says:
so u hate me?
~Loreo~ says:
No. o.0
-L- says:
i heard u hate me
~Loreo~ says:
I don't. o.0 Why would I?
-L- says:
cuz im so damn sexy =D
~Loreo~ says:
>.> Bullcrap.
-L- says:
-has man curves-
~Loreo~ says:
Eff your mancurves. ;x
-L- says:
u kno u like them
~Loreo~ says:
Hah. You may have mancuruves, but your kissing could use some work. x)
And I don't like them. >>
But I'd rather not relive that. >>
-L- says:
.__. boy that was a low fucken blow, u neva complained, if anything u made kissin more sloppy
~Loreo~ says:
Pin it on me all you want. >>
I'd prefer not to remember.
-L- says:
damn lor u made a jokin mood into a fucked up one, idk what ur problem is but i did nothin to u
~Loreo~ says:
;x I dunno. I'm kind of on edge right now.
But in all honesty, I don't want to remember.
-L- says:
in all honesty, u put me in a bad fucken mood for the first time today!
~Loreo~ says:
I'm just saying.. I don't want to bring that stuff up.
-L- says:
u couldve fucken just said!
that
~Loreo~ says:
I dunno. At first I was kidding too and then I thought about it, and was like, "You know what? I don't wanna talk about this."
-L- says:
you kno what, u fooked up, u went too far, u act like it was sumthing awful that- you kno what 4get it
~Loreo~ says:
How did I fuck up?
Tell me - what did I do?
Brb, dinner. >>
And now I'm back.
Still with no answer. =/
-L- says:
what do u want
~Loreo~ says:
I want to know why you think I fucked up.
-L- says:
why i "think"?
~Loreo~ says:
Yes. Think.
-L- says:
u did
~Loreo~ says:
How?
-L- says:
I was playing and u didnt have to go being immature and bringing up the past for a fuckin joke
~Loreo~ says:
Well, I'd really prefer it if you didn't say those kinds of things while I have a freaking boyfriend, for starters. And second, you shouldn't say that after we were at one point together.
-L- says:
who cares if u have a bf now? does he permit u to joke around? its not like im coming on to u fuck. and secondly u see us being together as sumthings so bad u want to 4get, i find that fucked up, excuse me if i dont hate my past relationship as much as u. now u know. good for u
~Loreo~ says:
I know I can joke around, but there's a limit. I can't just play around with guys like that. It's not right, and it's not fair to him.
And it's not that I want to forget it, exactly, it's that... I dunno... I don't know if I should really tell you what I think about it.
-L- says:
as i told u b4 i dont work with limits well. i kno u regret it so i dont need to kno anything else
~Loreo~ says:
I don't regret it. It's just something I'd like to keep in the past.
-L- says:
well when u grow up im sure you'll b able to deal wit it, i dont have a problem with it
~Loreo~ says:
There's a reason, and that reason will probably never leave me.
-L- says:
-sighs- wats the reason
~Loreo~ says:
I shouldn't tell you.
-L- says:
fine if its bad i dont wanna kno
Who's the one at fault in this predicament? =/ I dunno....
In the end I talked to my boyfriend about it, despite L's telling me not to tell my boyfriend the things he says, and I decided not to talk to L anymore.
L is just too flirty, and he doesn't know when to stop... The way he talks to me bothers me... =/
Keeping my boyfriend's trust is worth betraying his.
No comments:
Post a Comment